This is a sad fact of life. They say that this is especially true for women. As women grow older and started to have families, their worlds are getter smaller because their families are their constant companion. Most women raising a family have less time to socialize and therefore have less chances of gaining more friends and also have less time nurturing their existing friendships. As women age, their friends are more likely to be raising their own family also, so not only do they have less time to cultivate friendships but their friends are also having less time for them.
I realized this during my last birthday. Before, I can fill a bar and restaurant with friends and well wishers during my birthdays. But on my last birthday I can hardly fill a table with friends, in fact I was just with my family, my husband, my son, and our two occasional househelps. Of course it did not help that I did not invite anybody for that dinner. It’s not that I don’t have friends anymore, it is just that they are also somewhere else. Some are in provinces looking after their own families, some are working abroad, and some are in the city earning a living, and still some are busy with their own lives now. I am not complaining here, lest you misunderstood, I am just blogging away things I am becoming aware of recently. I had a great time during my birthday, it’s just different. But I am happy for I am with my immediate family, the people I loved the most in this world, of course if my brother would have been there, then I would be happier. And to think that women having less time with friends because of their families have something to regret about is not true, maybe they do it not because of their responsibility to their family but because it is their choice. And it may also be because of age, when people age they tend to become homebodies and family-oriented.
As friends go in and out of our lives, enemies tend to accumulate. You find that your enemies do not go anywhere, they may distance themselves from you for a while but they are there waiting for something unsavory to happen to you and they would reemerge to remind you that they are still your enemy. And if your enemy has a friend who knows you, your enemy’s friend tends to have the same animosity towards you, so you might have gained another enemy in the person of your enemy’s friend. Enemies can also increase in number through our newly acquired family, in-laws are a great source of enemies. Through constant association with our in-laws, we tend to be more judgmental and critical of each other’s ways. And of course, in-laws are there forever and they also accumulate faster than you can divorce your husband or have your marriage annulled. This blog is getting too long already, I know that anybody out there reading this have their own way of finding and keeping enemies. If you have anything to share, just feel free to comment or better yet blog about it too and invite me to read it.
But let us not lose hope, our friends are just out there, they may be far from you right now but they are there. And no matter how long you haven’t seen a friend or how long you have no communication with her, you know that you know in your heart that she is your friend.
I realized this during my last birthday. Before, I can fill a bar and restaurant with friends and well wishers during my birthdays. But on my last birthday I can hardly fill a table with friends, in fact I was just with my family, my husband, my son, and our two occasional househelps. Of course it did not help that I did not invite anybody for that dinner. It’s not that I don’t have friends anymore, it is just that they are also somewhere else. Some are in provinces looking after their own families, some are working abroad, and some are in the city earning a living, and still some are busy with their own lives now. I am not complaining here, lest you misunderstood, I am just blogging away things I am becoming aware of recently. I had a great time during my birthday, it’s just different. But I am happy for I am with my immediate family, the people I loved the most in this world, of course if my brother would have been there, then I would be happier. And to think that women having less time with friends because of their families have something to regret about is not true, maybe they do it not because of their responsibility to their family but because it is their choice. And it may also be because of age, when people age they tend to become homebodies and family-oriented.
As friends go in and out of our lives, enemies tend to accumulate. You find that your enemies do not go anywhere, they may distance themselves from you for a while but they are there waiting for something unsavory to happen to you and they would reemerge to remind you that they are still your enemy. And if your enemy has a friend who knows you, your enemy’s friend tends to have the same animosity towards you, so you might have gained another enemy in the person of your enemy’s friend. Enemies can also increase in number through our newly acquired family, in-laws are a great source of enemies. Through constant association with our in-laws, we tend to be more judgmental and critical of each other’s ways. And of course, in-laws are there forever and they also accumulate faster than you can divorce your husband or have your marriage annulled. This blog is getting too long already, I know that anybody out there reading this have their own way of finding and keeping enemies. If you have anything to share, just feel free to comment or better yet blog about it too and invite me to read it.
But let us not lose hope, our friends are just out there, they may be far from you right now but they are there. And no matter how long you haven’t seen a friend or how long you have no communication with her, you know that you know in your heart that she is your friend.
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